First posted on 13 July ~ Why people drink to forget.

I can accept that for his love of a woman to be "complete", children matter. But I find it incongruent that he can so readily and quickly "fall in love" again. I have to accept the possibility that he has either never loved me or has stopped loving me.

I have to let him go.

I might not even have to wait 2 weeks for his answer. If he really is in love with the "dragon girl", he might not even be able to wait 2 weeks before he can see her again. And then I would know, for sure, if not already from the look of love on his face when he talked about her.

Perhaps our destiny ends here. Perhaps, somewhere down the road, our paths might converge again. Perhaps, they would never.

I can accept that he had to wait for a third party to be the catalyst and blame my flaws for his not loving me - that is how most of us would react. The guilty would find ways to justify their actions and lessen their own dismay.

He is a good and a wonderful person. I wouldn't want to hate him at the end - but I hope he would come clean when he finally tells me, and not leave me muddied so that he can walk away clean.

I have decided to embargo all future entries until he gives me his answer. I would not want my anguish or "decisions" to influence what he really wants.

Happily woozy after drinks. I should have no problems falling asleep tonight...